1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
