You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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