Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
