Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i've created a new STD.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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