So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
