u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
