i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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