You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cockslap morals
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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