Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize