don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
