normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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