I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
