4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
