life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
