and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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