What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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