sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
