people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
