Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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