Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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