i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
