how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
