I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
