I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
