Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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