So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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