Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
