You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
