She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
