i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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