He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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