i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
