Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize