Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
