There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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