Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
