we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
