if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
