i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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