when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You made out with two different species that night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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