Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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