do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
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I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
