i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
