I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
