I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
