Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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