Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
