I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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