Already got asked if we're dating
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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