An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
