we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
