You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
