Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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