You're completely useless in the revolution.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
