He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
