Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
