i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
