yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
