I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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