are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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